Ignorance in Advertising - Soapbox Edition

Beyond the fact that almost anything shown on television has a target audience, nothing can be more apparent than the obvious aims of marketing in commercial advertisements. As an employee in the field of broadcast communication, no one can understand this more so than myself... HOWEVER, simply because you are aiming your appeal towards a specific demographic does NOT give you the right to produce ignorant, mindless, and sometimes offensive campaigns simply because your audience lacks the common sense to comprehend the basic idea of, oh, say, a cheeseburger commercial...



"What is so offensive about this commercial, Patrick?" I hear you say... GOOD QUESTION! Actually, it's a bad question... There IS nothing "offensive" in the classical sense about this commercial. What I find out of place about this ad is the fact that there is an incredibly beautiful woman, who is a noted chef/food critic/reality t.v. walking down this busy, inter-city street, and parking her designer ass on some random doorstep (cause you KNOW that bitch lives uptown) just to stuff her face with a big ass, fat-loaded heart attack on a bun, licking the drippings off her moisturized, sun-kissed legs, proving that she is just like the 500pound Bubba in backwoods Tennessee, all the while a voice over plays, talking about how she used to sneak out of the house when she was growing up just to "savour that sweet, spicy sauce".

OK, MY ASS! Seriously, like that had that shit in the third-world where she was born. The fact that this woman, in all her food-loving glory, would even CONSIDER eating this burger speaks exactly to the audience it targets... the illiterate. I'll be glad when Hardee's finds another celebrity to attempt to sell their over-processed death patties so they can pull this shit off the air.

Moving on to things that are TRULY offensive...



OK. This has made national news, all because of the outcry against it. What it shows is both asinine, and offense, to men AND women. Not only are men being portrayed as bumbling, insensitive idiots, but women are portrayed as tight-lipped, oppressive harpies who can find offense in any statement made by the aforementioned brain-numbingly dim male. Honestly, all I can think is what the hell are these two assholes doing together? Maybe between her implied cynicism and his foolish dribbling, they could find a reason to off each other and destroy yet another advertising pastiche of humanities stereotypes....

I'm sure there are SEVERAL more commercials that I could list here, and go on and on for hours picking them apart and detailing every little piece of deceptive or offensive marketing, but honestly, I have better things to do... like make the world a better place through MY cynicism...

Bringing out the animal...

I find myself wandering around my house, in the dark, waiting for my animalistic night vision to kick in... When it does, its not what I expect. I see neither better, nor worse, than I do on any other light-dampened day. The change is subtle, almost unnoticeable, but it is there all the same... I feel things, see things with an eye that is beyond physical and too powerful to be mental...

It is purely instinctual... a feeling that pervades my senses and rises above what I perceive as physical sensations. Its a "knowing", an undeniable realization of my surroundings. I walk through my darkened halls, knowing, not seeing, that a vaccum lies in my path... ethernet cables at my feet...

In the shower, I was overtaken by anger... Let it be known I am not an angry, violent or otherwise aggressive person, but this fire that burned beneath my flesh was unlike anything I have ever known... I wanted to tear, rip, shred ANYTHING I could get my claws on.

As I type this, my hands gnarled talons, my flesh exuding an indescribable heat, I wonder where it begins, this, instict to kill and destroy and... and... If ever there was a time when I was worried about myself, it would be now. When an uncontrolable rage blinds you to all but the innermost desires of destruction, and lust, and control, one must worry...

We are all animals, and it is our instinct, our unspoken thirst for survival that drives us. We can put on it whatever face we choose, but, behind that human facade, lies the heart, mind and soul of a beast... hunting, stalking... waiting for the right moment to strike.

When Wii Attacks...

OMG OMG OMG!!! For more than a year now, Wii owners have been plagued by jabs from hardcore gamers for investing in such a "kiddie system". While the interface for the Wii is the most revolutionary of our day, its graphics and system capabilities leave something a bit lacking in comparison to the 360 and/or PS3. Its game library has left a sacharin-sweet taste in our mouths and harkens to the days when games were played on boards with dice or decks of printed paper. That being said, the folks at Nintendo have teamed up with some of the best adult-targeted horror series on the market, namely Silent Hill, Dead Space, and Resident Evil (the latter of which has already seen a rather successful port).


There is one game series that is synonymous with survival horror, one that has stayed true to its roots of disturbing images, terrifying enemies, and plot lines with more chills, thrills, and spills than a two year old on a rollercoster... That is, of course, Silent Hill, the be all, end all of scare-gaming. And with the success of more recent versions, namely Homecoming, and the film, the most acurate (imho) video game film to date, its no wonder the franchise that reinvented the survival horror genre is jumping on board with the system that revolutionized the way WII play... pun intended. The game, titled Silent Hill: Shattered Memories, is a "reimagining" of the original Silent Hill game, and it will include new characters, locations, story archs, and a complete graphics overhaul. As detailed in the above image, the lighting effect of your in-game flashlight will be of particular interest.



Secondly, Resident Evil, the longest running survival-horror turned action series releases a sequel to its popular Wii-based Umbrella Chronicles, entitled Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicles. It is a rail-shooter in the style of its predisessor, and follows the main story archs of Resident Evil 2 and Code: Veronica. These games, while awesomely fun to play, do focus less on the horror aspect and more on the shoot the shit out of everything until they die, or you do.



And finally, a prequel to one of the best selling games of 2008, Dead Space: Extraction promises to be a gameplay Wii-volution... yeah, I'm lame. I said it. Anywho, the game introduces new characters, locations, weapons, enemies, puzzles and storylines, furthering the mythos surrounding the Dead Space universe. Few details have been released, but already the buzz about this game is getting louder and louder. EA built this installment from the ground up, specifically designing it for the Wii's controls, which are undeniably the most innovative and engaging on the market. So, keep your eyes out for any more info on the game. It sure as hell looks amazing...

Well, that's all for now. I'm super-stoked about these new games, you guys! Honestly, I've been buying the old-school stuff lately. Not much on the market has really sparked my interest, but it looks like the turning point is just around the corner. :)

A Few Notes...

Greetings and salutations, and welcome to yet another fun-filled, exciting blog from the mind of a madman... I've just a few thoughts that have been going through my mind, as of late, and I felt it time to write them down for all to read.

1. Miss California - Carrie Prejean is a model for the extremist right-wing uber-Christian conservatives. She is a pillar of salt, I mean, strength, standing for what's moral and just and Godlike in our toilet of a country that continues spiraling downward into a pit of filth and despair... OK, so now what I REALLY think... I must applaud Miss California. While being eyed by millions of people across the country, she stood up for her beliefs, her moral foundation. Though the majority of us may not agree with what she said (as per a recent ABC/Washington Post poll) but since this is a country based on, at its most basic level, the freedom to speak our minds, how can I possibly hate the poor girl for the way her ignorant Prop 8 supporting parents raised her? And now, the religious right has labeled the poor, unfortunate soul as a "poster child" for anti-marriage activism. Why don't they just let the girl move on with her life like all the other 48 losers from the pageant? Because they can't leave well enough alone...*

2. My life - I'd like to take this moment to express how precious, and short, and necessary life really is. Anything can happen, and something dark and sinister can lie just around the corner, waiting to jump out, hold its knife to our throat and say "Give me all your money." I know, I know, that's an AWFULLY dramatic personification, but it seemed appropriate. We never know what the future is going to hold, and we can't live our lives in fear of the unknown. We have to take every little tiny chance we get, because the end could be on our heels, sneaking behind us, ready to strike. I've made some decisions about my life... I'm tired of waiting, of putting my dreams on hold. I will never succeed if I don't try, and while I may be missed, I must go where my dreams lead.

3. Classic - In response to a seemingly overwhelming amount of crap television shows that now plague our airways, I leave you with snippets of the most amazing, and classically formulated shows of my day...







Wow... I just realized that animation studios had a sick obsession with ducks... Just like how Pat Robertson stated today on The 700 Club that the most recent hate crimes legislation would include having sex with a duck on the list of sexual orientation... riiiight.

*addendum - Let it be said that I also do not agree with Perez Hilton's video blog about Carrie Prejean that was made after the pageant. Must we meet hate with more hate? Is that the only way to solve the issues that divide a country that, through all its been through in our long history, should unite and celebrate the differences that make this one of the greatest nations in the world? Really? REALLY?

I Look Over My Shoulder... and Last Week is Still There...

Be it FAR from my usual modus operandi to blog about something that has already appeared on numerous blogs, but this just made me smile, and after such a tragic week, we could all use a little bit of a grin.



Now, since we are all in such good moods, onto the less pleasant of topics.

A light has gone out on Broadway. Yes, she who made the bitchy, intoxicated theatre queen a popular stereotype has after a long battle with cancer gone quietly into the night.


Bea Arthur (born Bernice Frankel) was a paragon of talent and comedic wit. She starred in such acclaimed shows, on and off Broadway, as Maude, The Golden Girls, and of course, everyone's favourite musical about eccentric family and their soused companions, Mame.

This was truely as sad day, and with last years passing of Estelle Getty, we have now lost half of one of the greatest comedic groups of all time.

If there is one thing I can say about Bea, at least SHE never ended up in Shady Pines.

Everything I Need to Know About Jesus I Learned from YouTube...

Whenever I'm feeling down about life, looking for answers, or just need to see some uplifting imagry about my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, where do I turn? Well, certainly NOT church... I mean, why would I want to? Get in the car, drive all the way down the street to a building filled with people who are going to tell me that I'm going to hell for being gay, or eating shrimp, or wearing a poly/cotton blend...

No. When I am in need of salvation or just a friendly reminder at how meaningless my life is, I turn to the one thing that will never let me down, where with just a few strokes (of the keys) I can find whatever it is I seek... YouTube.

Here are just a few of my favorite examples of what Jesus is REALLY like, and why all religions are wrong... except for Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses...

The Storm is Cumming...

The past two weeks have been interesting, to say the least, when it comes to the constant battle of gay people for the right to marry. We have seen two states in the past month pass legislation that makes marriage equal for gay people in the eyes of the law, and other states are moving in the same direction.

In times of such promise, certain groups are bound to feel threatened, and will resort to any means necessary to stop the river of progress from flowing across our nation. Their fight rages across our televisions, newspapers, magazines and You Tube. Their message is simple: Change is bad because its change... and we don't like it cause then we have to change things that we think shouldn't be changed.

Below is a video from one such institution that feels that gay people are lesser in the eyes of God and the Law, much like they felt when it came to black people... and women... and Jews... and Spiderman. Please, pass this message of hate on to your friends, family, pastor, neighborhood pedophile or mall Santa.

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