I find myself wandering around my house, in the dark, waiting for my animalistic night vision to kick in... When it does, its not what I expect. I see neither better, nor worse, than I do on any other light-dampened day. The change is subtle, almost unnoticeable, but it is there all the same... I feel things, see things with an eye that is beyond physical and too powerful to be mental...
It is purely instinctual... a feeling that pervades my senses and rises above what I perceive as physical sensations. Its a "knowing", an undeniable realization of my surroundings. I walk through my darkened halls, knowing, not seeing, that a vaccum lies in my path... ethernet cables at my feet...
In the shower, I was overtaken by anger... Let it be known I am not an angry, violent or otherwise aggressive person, but this fire that burned beneath my flesh was unlike anything I have ever known... I wanted to tear, rip, shred ANYTHING I could get my claws on.
As I type this, my hands gnarled talons, my flesh exuding an indescribable heat, I wonder where it begins, this, instict to kill and destroy and... and... If ever there was a time when I was worried about myself, it would be now. When an uncontrolable rage blinds you to all but the innermost desires of destruction, and lust, and control, one must worry...
We are all animals, and it is our instinct, our unspoken thirst for survival that drives us. We can put on it whatever face we choose, but, behind that human facade, lies the heart, mind and soul of a beast... hunting, stalking... waiting for the right moment to strike.
1 comment:
this is a lovely observational moment. the calm after the rage subsides is the time you must go inside of yourself, start clearing away some of the dust and junk that we are all full of and start discovering... what triggered the rage? if it appears un-encouraged by an external source then you must discover where it began INSIDE OF YOU. and why.
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